About Leaving

by DOWNHAUL

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.

      name your price

     

1.
(free) 03:40
2.
3.
02:18
4.
05:11

about

Thanks to Robbie, P.J., Tyler and Riley.

credits

released April 24, 2017

Recorded with Kris Hilbert at Legitimate Business in Greensboro, NC.

tags

license

all rights reserved

about

DOWNHAUL

shows

contact / help

Contact DOWNHAUL

Streaming and
Download help

Track Name: How Things Worked Out
I took your phone call in my parents' unfinished basement
I guess I somehow thought the echo made me sound taller

And you knew exactly just who I was
And at the time that probably made one of us
And you were the sum total of every equation that I had ever known
Which was admittedly few

Well I ended up in your town late last summer
And we planned to meet for dinner
But I flaked when you filled me in
It was obvious and I'm still embarrassed, somewhere between self-centered and self-preservation
So now we've got even less to show for all these years of whatever we haven't been
But I can't resent you
If anything, it's my fault--but how the hell am I supposed to cope when half the state belongs to you?

Now I only come home about twice a year
I'm not proud to say that, it's just how things work out
Now I an extra two and a half miles east just to avoid the bank where your mom works
And I know it's total vanity to assume she'd have even the slightest clue as to who I am
But that's all I've got

Well no one in my life now
Would even recognize your name
But I felt a a little better when I realized
You could surely say the same
Track Name: Every Few Weeks
Every few weeks I wake up in the middle of the night
With the insatiable urge to apologize to you
And while I'm not completely sure exactly what I’m sorry for
I know you’d never pass up an easy shot at me
So I'll wait ‘til your birthday, and I call
Knowing you won’t answer
It’s such a relief, each time
Cuz I don’t know what I’d say

I remember the way you talked
Faster and faster as you got excited
And how I’d never try to slow you down
Always twisting your hair in knots
Counting the exits along the interstate
As you convinced yourself to leave town

Every few weeks my mind slips to the living room floor
Of your parents’ brick house on that quiet street
Your little sister asking when she was gonna see me again
And I didn’t have half the heart to tell her straight
That I’d parked outside your house
For what’d prove to be the last time
But maybe I didn’t know then
At least that’s what I’ll tell myself

I remember the way you looked at me
With no trace of anger anywhere in your face
As I did what I thought was right
Still twisting your hair in knots
Letting me bleed until silence overtook us
And I turned off the light

Well, you deserve the world
I simply do not deal in planets
And all this time burned by
Just not in the way we planned it
We haven't talked in years
Which I know is what you needed more
But I don't know how you feel anymore

I don't know how you feel anymore
Track Name: (Interlude)
Well I'm so tired
Of waking up next to you
That I've decided
Done all that all I can do
To win you over
I can't take another test
I'll wait until you're sober
To tell you I've got nothing left
Track Name: Always Talk
Well you always talk about leaving
Like my mother talks about God
At least I can trust that she means it
While we both know you're all talk
You talk about major cities
Like it'd be such a fix for you
As if public transit can help mend your mindset
And erase all that you've been through

You hate where we come from and somehow that's my fault
Our town in the mountains of gypsum and rock salt

You tell me self-medication
Is something you can manage despite all the damage of half-hearted rain checks and prescription pain meds
Your own form of retaliation

I've seen your apartment, I've seen how you live now
You're back where you started, but you won't admit how

Half my friends are homesick
And half my friends are the opposite
You're begging me to promise I'll visit you there
You're saying I owe you one, I'll always owe you one

You always talk about leaving
I'll always owe you one

Well I'm sorry I haven't called, I just don't want to
It's selfish, I know that--I'm just still shaken up
And I guess I just try to believe that you'd be okay
Another lie I told myself to cover you up