Where We Started

by DOWNHAUL

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1.
Double Time 03:31
Well if green is supposed to be the color of natural growth I can say I've tried I can say I've tried And the sky down here is twice as clear The buildings are half as tall But no one seems to mind Nobody seems to mind It's the freedom of anonymity In a place where nobody knows me I can round any corner without running into you--any of you But it's all brick to me now As far as the eye can see So here's a Little whim about leaving where we started Well I was trapped under an awning Waiting out the pouring rain, it's a mess that I've made As usual Oh and I never expected to miss it here The calendar turned or at least that's what I'm told Somehow a year on King Street And although the weeks go by at a totally static rate These days it feels like double time Well it was just last week Pat mentioned He'd be leaving part of himself here, which rang true With my own sentiments And as I'm walking down South Elm Street For what may be one of the last times I do, It gets hard to turn toward home And as the sun sets on another season of my life, I curse this selfish transience
2.
SMAK 03:54
Now I guess I've got Something to think about Other than myself For once It's a permanent toothache It's a shiver you can't shake And I'm not necessarily sure how to do this right Now I took this time To do the things I needed Which I hope you can understand, or at least relate to But you're free to resent me I've deserved it lately Although I'm not necessarily sure I should say this tonight You should know I've got things to do Other than break my teeth on you But I find myself outside your house on a weekday night in June I don't know where to go from here The mall's closed and it's pouring Your roommate is terrible don't tell her I said so She may already know "I've gotta get this off my chest" I whispered across the car It's like flying a kite on a ten-foot lead, you can only drift so far Well I've digressed a bit Which we both know I'm want to do The truth is I can't convey all that I gave away hoping it'd make you stay
3.
Park 03:58
Nearly fell asleep in the park Someone speaking Portuguese is Half-explaining God to me I catch about every third word We move our chairs as the shade shifts And with the eight words I can manage I excuse myself in Spanish And he tries not to laugh Watched a girl grow up in the park At her family's food cart every Afternoon and weekend it was warm She worked in total silence And any I tried to talk to her She seemed to wince at every word So I soon gave that up Hand-me-down shirt Kid sister in her lap She's attentive Yet detached Watching other families leave the park As she cleans up And downtown turns dark Finally her father rounds the corner In his pickup truck He can barely help her load the cart With his good arm Before they're gone Before they're gone And she waits on the night to end We both wait on the night to end Each night has to end Each night has to end And it does
4.
Coming Home 04:16
I still have to take about eight Ibuprofen a day Which I know is dependency I should kick There are nights I struggle to sleep--be it, passing trains or, searing pain in my jaw And I'm tired of both, I'm tired of both I can't tell whether no one is listening Or if I'm not making a sound It's likely a worthless distinction Of which I'm not totally proud There's a phone full of people who would do anything for me Which has always been more of a burden than it ever has been a relief And maybe that's self-inflicted Maybe I should just pick up the phone But for some reason moving away has always been easier than coming home, coming home It's still clear I'm unsure how to handle Demands on my time and attention Selfishness wholly pervasive To degrees I'm embarrassed to mention All I can do is try to get better at coming home

credits

released February 16, 2018

YOU CAN BUY THIS ON VINYL AT: downhaul.storenvy.com/products/23065260-where-we-started-ep

(Also streaming on Spotify, Apple Music, etc.)

Recorded by Kris Hilbert at Legitimate Business in Greensboro, NC
Mastered by Jesse Cannon

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