Every Few Weeks

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Every few weeks I wake up in the middle of the night
With the insatiable urge to apologize to you
And while I'm not completely sure exactly what I’m sorry for
I know you’d never pass up an easy shot at me
So I'll wait ‘til your birthday, and I call
Knowing you won’t answer
It’s such a relief, each time
Cuz I don’t know what I’d say

I remember the way you talked
Faster and faster as you got excited
And how I’d never try to slow you down
Always twisting your hair in knots
Counting the exits along the interstate
As you convinced yourself to leave town

Every few weeks my mind slips to the living room floor
Of your parents’ brick house on that quiet street
Your little sister asking when she was gonna see me again
And I didn’t have half the heart to tell her straight
That I’d parked outside your house
For what’d prove to be the last time
But maybe I didn’t know then
At least that’s what I’ll tell myself

I remember the way you looked at me
With no trace of anger anywhere in your face
As I did what I thought was right
Still twisting your hair in knots
Letting me bleed until silence overtook us
And I turned off the light

Well, you deserve the world
I simply do not deal in planets
And all this time burned by
Just not in the way we planned it
We haven't talked in years
Which I know is what you needed more
But I don't know how you feel anymore

I don't know how you feel anymore


from About Leaving, released April 24, 2017



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